when I move, you move
2003-11-18 | 2:30 a.m.

So I'm sitting here in Pete's apartment and I'm like "Can I do this?....can I do that" and in his lovely, Staten Island accent he goes "Do whatevah you want". And then I say "Can I piss on your bed?" and he says no. And then I get all upset because he just told me that I could do whatever I wanted to, but now he's saying no. Why all the lies??? Why all the emotional barriers? And then I tell him he's a bad man and I'm leaving him forever and ever....and then we make out.

Yes, I will admit that we act like stupid people who are dating eachother, but atleast we have the brains to act like it behind closed doors where people can't see us and vomit and try to hit us with baseball bats.

Speaking of beating the shit out of people with bats, does anyone else feel violent when they see that "Fructis" shapoo commercial where all the pretty people are all running around partially nude in a GIANT outdoor shower of some kind...and playfully tugging on eachother's healthy and strong hair that has been fortified with real fruit acids? Yeah I just wanna make all of them cry.

When I see that commercial I like to pretend that they all have strange veneral diseases that makes their genitalia shrivel up with black, tar-like, frothy discharges issuing forth on a semi-regular basis.

Ah yes...the hatred I harbor to those with silky, manageable hair. CURSE YOU ALL!

Hello, this is me coming to you about 800 miles north of where I was previously. It only took Pete and I about 15 hours to drive from Georgia to New Jersey, and that's including us stopping in Virginia so Pete could drop $3K on some arcade machines cause he's a video game dork. A hot dork, true...but a dork none-the-less.

Pete drove the van from Savannah to up here, but we just returned it to the drop-off place, and Pete drove his car while I followed in the van. I have decided that I do not like driving big trucks like that because I am a total pussy...BUT...I would like to report that I did not scream even once the entire 10 minutes I was driving, which I can't really PROVE seeing that no one else was in the van with me, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

I am strong. I am invinicible. I am U-Haul driving man!!!!

::roars with manliness::

As of right now, all my boxed up belongings are stacked in various places around Pete's apartment and hopefully we'll be able to either sneak them into Justin's parent's garage or into Pete's parent's basement before Pete's roommate starts to hate me for leaving all my sheeeeit all over the damn place.

We have to be all sneaky when putting stuff into Pete's parent's house because his parents hate me with a glowing hot passion and will utilize all their mob connections if I come within eye sight of them. This makes me sad because I have a deep inherent need for people's parents to like. Pete tells me that it takes them a few years to warm up to people.

YEARS??? Do they not know how short of an attention span I have? ARGH!

and now...two things:
thing one: Pete has a water bed and when I slosh around on it at night it makes me feel like I need to pee wicked bad.
thing two: Pete also has HomeStarRunner figurines on top of his computer and I really wanna put theCheat on my mouth because he looks like candy, but I won't because I am a strong U-Haul driving Man (well...that and I already put Pom-Pom in my mouth and he didn't taste all that good)

PS- I think we all need to remember two things...(a)I love to not proof read and/or correct my spelling and typos and (b)if you are a fat bald white man and have, for some reason, posted videos of yourself dancing to "Stand Up" by Ludacris while slowly removing all your clothing, KNOW THIS...I will download your video and share it with everyone I know.

that is all.

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