there was something in the air that night...Fernando!
2003-11-19 | 1:21 a.m.

it's midnight and I'm feeling rather peckish. I think there's a bowl of chocolate pudding in the fridge with my name on it.

I talked to Ryan for a bit this evening and he whined that he wanted me to come and visit him because he's not working for the next two days. Maybe I'll see if Pete feels like driving me into Brooklyn at some point. We'll see.

I've been laying on the bed and reading "The Opposite of Fate" for about two hours now. It makes me very happy because it allows me to become connected to my inner asian woman. My inner asian woman, however, is not happy because she is hungry and wants chocolate pudding.

Lyndsay is giving me a ride to Massachusetts next week so that I may be tortured by my parents for ThanksGiving. Actually it shouldn't be all that bad because I found out that Rachel is taking Friday and Monday off from work, so I can stay with her and David for the weekend and not have to deal with my parents trying to force me into going to church with them on Sunday. I really hope that my father doesn't try to spring one of his little "talks" in me this time.

For those of you not in the know, over the summer I was visiting my parents and my father took me out to breakfast one morning...just the two of us. Our conversation went a little something a-like this:

Open scene: breakfast time in a lovely Greek resturant/deli in Beverly, Massachusetts

son: [still half asleep, drooling slightly, and staring off into space]

father: "So, what are your plans?"

son: [snapping to attention] "Plans for what?"

father: "Your, the rest of it."

son: [thinking: "MmMmmM Bacon!"] "Well, get a job and make some money so I can support myself and buy things."

father: [grunts]

[both eat in silence for a few minutes]

father: [sips coffee] " still a fag?"

son: [chewing on bacon as ABBA music starts playing quietly in head] "ah-yup"

father: [shifts in seat and does his best tele-marketer voice] "well I just want to tell you how proud of you I am. You're a talented artist and everyone likes you."

son: [ABBA music in head swells louder...foot begins tapping the floor lightly under the table]

father: "'re a horrible son, a total disappointment, and your alternative lifestyle choices do not align themselves with my religion and how I feel about things...therefore you are going to burn in hell unless you repent..."

son: [singing in head] "I can dance...I can jive...I'm having the time of my life...OoOoOoOoH....See that my scene...I am a dancing queen..OoOOOOooOOo..."

father: [still talking] "...blah blah it's all about me blah blah my feelings blah blah how people see me blah blah blah I just wish I had been a better father and taken you to some baseball games so you would have turned out differently."

son: [foot stops tapping] "...But I hate baseball."

father: [raising spoon in the air] "EXACTLY!!!!!"

son: [looks confused] "What?"

father: [nods excitedly and grins, exposing crooked teeth] "yes!"

father: [takes one of son's hands in his] "I want a Daughter-in-Law"

son: [while keeping eye contact, music in head blasts] "I am the Dancing Queen...I'm young and sweet...only Twenty three...Dancing Queen...I feel the beat from the tambourine...OOoOOoOOo"

father: "I don't care about you being gay as long as you never tell anyone that you are, never act like it, never think like it, and never ever ever have sex with a man ever ever ever."

son: [staring at hottie greek waiter in an oh-so-tight white Hane's t-shirt bussing a near by table] "....kay"

father: "Wonderful, I'll pay for Breakfast. And just so you're still gonna burn in hell"

son: [staring, slack-jawed as hottie waiter bends over to pick something up off the floor] "...okay"


And how much more fun is this going to be now that that whole gay marriage thing in Massachusetts is in the news. I wonder if my father will whine about it and refer to everyone who lives in MA who's not a brain washed, Ditto-Head as a "Commie Pinko" like he normally does. Actually...I hope he does cause my father and his asinine behavior always serve as marvelous diary fodder.

And is time for pudding
Li Gu Jingmei demands it!!!!


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