Sadly we are now in the time of year when I am chronically grumpy and sit around bemoaning my childhood and my lack of holiday cheer. Pete, however, grew up in a home that could actually celebrate the holidays without one drop of blood being spilled...so he's been doing a good job at keeping me from being pissy.

Are there other people out there who understand my distain for spending "quality" holiday time with family? I can't be the only one...I mean, they make shit loads of craptastic movies about this all the damned time. Yeesh, it's just not fun.

I always thought that my sister got off easy though, because for the past few years, instead of spending Christmas with our extended family, her inlaws would fly up from Atlanta to spend the week and she got to stay at home. Ofcourse this year I've been getting multiple paged emails secretly sent to me from her work where she's hiding from them telling me stories of their insanity. Okay so maybe she wasn't getting off scott free like I previously thought.

She says that next year she's going on a cruise and both the families be damned. I totally support her and kinda want to go on a cruise too, so I may have a long, steamy torrid love affair with the 24-hour free buffet.

Like most homosexuals I have a natural affinity towards interior decoration, fashion design, and a good skin care regiment...but seeing that I totally lack talent in all those fields, I like to pretend that I can cook even though the only thing that I can make is my fucking spactacular enchiladas.

But today, I decided, would be a day in which I would ventur forth into the realm of desserts and make some cookies. Now, seeing that I have never actually made cookies before, I thought that I would start off easy and just buy the premade dough from Stop&Shop. Well...that and because I'm way too lazy to make the dough from scratch.

I've come to understand that cookies come in different degrees of rediness, like a fine cut of meat. The first batch of cookies that I removed from the oven were very rare...almost bleeding in the middle. Pete said that he would be a mayrtar and eat the raw ones. What a man he is.

The next two batches were a lovely medium-well and I shall put these in a decorative christmas tin and give them to Justin and his family because I'm wonderful like that.

They will say "You made us cookies! oh you wonderful boy!" and it is true...I AM a wonderful boy. Little do they know that the only reason I made cookies in the first place was that I was in the grocery store and I felt like eating cookie dough till I died and I just thought I'd share the love.

So tomorrow I will deliver these cookies in their decorative Christmas tin to Justin and his family when I pick them up at the airport in the morning. There's really nothing like returning home from a funeral to a tin of warm cookies and my smiling face. It's almost better than sex, I swear.

And now I need to go with my boyfriend to get his hair cut because he's a damn hairy beast. A BEAST I tell you!

Happy Days and good tidings to you all.