I just remembered that I didn't post an entry on the first of the month welcoming everyone to March and informing the unwashed masses that my birthday falls on the 27th and that I require many gifts and much adoration. Oh well, a bit late for that then.

I'm totally distracted by the fact that on Tuesday, when I went to the museum, it was beautiful and sunny and in the 60's, and right now as I look out my window, there's about an inch of snow covering all the cars in the parking lot. I hate snow, so obviously no one asked me my opinion on wether this weather was appropriate (it is VERY in appropriate). Stupid snow...::shakes fist::

I've recently been dealing with a slight addiction of mine...something I feel as though I've been obsessing over this thing. Pete recently got DSS and this has allowed me to view hundreds of TV channels that were nothing but a dream until a few days ago. And I have to admit right here and now...I have no will power against straight porn.

For the life of me I can't stop watching it. There are about 5 channels in a row that show nothing but straight folks, upholding the Sanctity of marriage but fucking each other sensless...and then the guy comes all over the girl's face. Why is this? Do girls like that kind of thing? I certainly would not, but this may also explain why I'm not playing the lady in a straight porn on some hardcore channel. Why would I watch such a thing, you ask? Well...where else could I watch bored and horny college coeds touching each other inappropriately and referring to their naughty bits as their "cookies"?("Wow Cindy, your cookies sure are big and moist" "Go on and try them, Darla, they're delicious!" ::giggles::) Where else could I see a man, apparently driven mad by the passionate throes of love making, scream out that he wanted to pound his lady-friend's "Moist Panty Hamster"? Where else could I get the evening news.....NAKED!!! (for those of you who would also like to see the news naked...or at least the weather girl in all her glory, click on the link, but never fear, I cropped it so that you can't see her cookies at all...only boobs. So unless you were traumatized by Janet Jackson's errant titty during the SuperBowl, you should be fine...click right here)

Pete yells at me, and his roommate, Richard, mocks me....sometimes I cry, but I know that deep down inside they're just jealous. I know that they wish they could sit and watch hours of the decadent straight porn channels with me, but they're both prudes. You gotta be down with the girl cookies to hang with me, y'all.

Now to totally change the subject, but this morning I was laying in bed finishing my book and Pete, fresh from the shower, was wandering around the room in a towel looking for clothes to wear to work. I put my book down and watched him. As he was pulling on some pants he shimmied over towards me, waggling his butt in my direction and...with the occasional slap he sang "There's too much booty in the pants...too much booty in the pants...DANCE DANCE DANCE!!"

Now, while it is true that Pete has a ghetto booty, I wouldn't say that there was too much of it in the pants. Actually his pants seemed to handle his bum quite well...and I told him so.

He looked crestfallen and informed me that he was singing some song from a number of years ago that I should remember. I reminded him that a number of years ago, I was a good Christian boy and listened to good Christian boy music (that was until I was 16, at which point I found Tori Amos and thus started my "Lesbian Angst Music" period that lasted a few more years)...so therefore, it was no fault of mine if I hadn�t heard this booty song. I then left the room and went to eat some boring adult cereal because apparently I don�t have enough fiber and boring adult flavored things in my diet.

A few minutes later Pete emerged from the room and was leaving for work. He said that he left a CD on top of my computer that he wanted me to listen to. So after watching the Straight Porn channel for 20 minutes, I returned to the bedroom and picked up the green CD sitting on top of the computer monitor. It was entitled "Booty Mix 2" (which is frightening because it only leads me to believe that there was actually a "Booty Mix 1"), and lo and behold: track number 7 was �2 Much Booty (In The Pants).

Amazing.
One tends to miss so many things when one is preoccupied with being a good Christian boy and doing things that good Christian boys do (which isn't all that much, and the few things that you actually do are rather dull)