I find it interesting how, if I am to wake up early and sign online, people instant message me and inform me that it is early and I am, for some reason, awake. It�s almost as if I needed to be told about this in a sly and tactful way, like I had something green and gelatinous on my face and wasn't aware of it. Normally I tend to have a grasp on the fact that I am awake. I understand that this is often a very hard concept for some people to wrap their heads around, but I believe the highly developed synapses in my brain have evolved to the point where I can very easily tell the difference between sleeping and consciousness (when I'm sleeping I have nicer clothes).

However people continue to inform me of my wakeful status in hopes that the realization will follow soon thereafter and I will join them in the early morning rituals of bemoaning the fact that they are awake and cowering in the dying shadows of the bedroom and hissing at the sunlight as it slowly creeps across the floor.

It came to me this morning that if I have such a powerful mind as to be able to grasp the fact immediately that I am awake, minutes before strange internet people inform me of this, then maybe I have a heightened sense of awareness and see many things in the light of what they really are while normal people see nothing but shadow.

But fear not my friends of the lower castes! For I have the burning in my belly of one who yearns to serve his fellow man and thusly I vow to inform the great unwashed who populate this little blue marble that we call home, of blaringly obvious facts that they most likely have over looked due to their greatly diminished mental state.

For Example:

Dullard#1: Hi. You�re up early.

The Very Smart Person Whom Is I: Indeed I am my gentle rube. And may I take this opportunity to say: that YOU, my friend, act as one who is mentally retarded and the odor that you emit smells heavily of old beans! Yes it�s true! I can tell even though we are many miles apart and conversing with each other via the magic of the internet.

Ah, to bring the warmth of knowledge to the cold barren lives of the idiotic masses. Behold my torpid brethren! I come to you as a glowing beacon of truth and knowledge through this turbid din of insipidity. I come to you with open arms. Love me!