I know that there are some of you out there who are sitting in your homes and thinking about me and my life in great depth. This is okay and quite natural based upon the fact that I am so fucking cool that if I was somewhere and something fucking cool happened then the people standing in the area would look aroundd wildly, spot me, then point and yell (in a japanese accents for some reason) "Look! There!! It is Him!! HE is the source of the Fucking Coolness!!" and all the blame would be on me because I'm just throwing off the fucking coolness like stolen apples at old people's heads who are asleep on park benches.

Does that make any sense? No, but who cares? I'm still fucking cool, but now that we have that covered we can move on...

I know that there are some people out there with a pen and paper who have worked this all out and have realized that while I am now living in Pete's house...I am still a jobless bum. It makes me happy when people I talk to are all like "We should do something" and I'm like "Oh yeah totally, we should totally go do something fucking cool" and then they say "Well whenever you have some free time on your schedule." I always laugh inwardly and go..HA HA! FOOLS! My schedule consists of me sleeping till noon, getting up and eating something, and then sitting in front of the computer in my underwear and running tests to see if my fucking coolness can be felt via Instant Messager (the answer is....sometimes yes) and trying to drink water to the point that I have to pee a lot...in which I succeed.

Now while I do try to go on Monster.com everyother day to look at job listings, it usually accomplishes nothing but to make me accept even more the utter uselessness of my degree as seen by the world at large. And that makes me a sad panda.

But other than that, I have a totally good excuse for not going out to find jobs. And my excuse is: I'm too scared to leave the house. Now people who feel my fucking coolness will all nod in agreement that that is a good excuse, but for those of you not bathed in the warm glow of the fucking cool, I offer this explanation:

The smart peoople at NASA who do smart space things have found THIS...a giant CANYON on Mars. Yes it's true. And I bet you anything that the smart people at NASA who do smart space things will be blinded by their need to forward science, and they'll send something into that canyon, THUS awaking and totally pissing off the sleeping aliens who will then come to earth and try to molest me. And I have a big fucking problem with being molested by aliens. However, if the martians all happen to look oddly like Matthew StPatrick then by all means smart NASA people...wake them up. Let the molestations begin! BUT, until that point I'm staying in the damn apartment cause I'm too affraid to leave (unless it's to go out to eat, grocery shopping, going to the mall, to Justin's house, or out on general adventures).

Now on another note, I would just like to inform everyone that, If I were to enter into the state of holy matrimony with a bottle of hand lotion, I do certainly believe that my blushing bride would be the NEW! Aveeno: Stress Relief Moisturizing Lotion for she calms and relaxes me with her luscious scents of Lavender, Chamomile, and Ylang-ylang.

Oh! Heady seductress! How you make my skin so soft, supple, and deliciously kissable.

Oh and before I forget, I think y'all need to click on this link right HERE and visit my friends over at 12% Beer. Granted, I think I have attracted very few readers of my own and owe my ascent towards godliness to CuppaJoe and the Beermates. So yeah, for those of you who haven't yet, clicky the linky and go and read some people who are ALMOST as fucking cool as myself (hard to believe, but true).