|In Which I Doubt My Hypothesis
2004-04-05 | 12:28 p.m.
I would like to welcome you all to something that I like to refer to as: "Mangus's Cavalcade of Pointless Mediocrity" aka: "my newest diary entry".
In this instalment we will discuss life and death issues, explore the outer reaches of human emotion, and wonder why Richard's alarm clock has been going off for three hours. I'm pretty sure he's either dead or already at work. My vote is that he's dead, but seeing that he's signed online and his away message says "I'm in a meeting", I'm beginning to doubt my hypothesis.
Richard, for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, is the boy whom I normally refer to as "My boyfriend's roommate". I wonder if I'm allowed to go into his bedroom to turn the thing off, or if I should just let it keep going. I don't really have the type of relationship with the guy where I would feel comfortable going into his room to do that...hell I don't think I've actually ever been in there before. His room is on the other side of the apartment and opens into the living room/dining room area, so he's in prime position to open his door and stick his head out while I'm cooking dinner and ask: "Are you making chicken?" and I say: "Yes" because I'm usually making chicken. He then smiles to himself because he is now able to say, what I believe to be, one of his favorite phrases: "You eat so much chicken, you're gonna grow feathers!" and then he pops back into his bedroom, no doubt feeling all smug because I never seem to have anything to say in response to this.
But really, how would one respond to "You eat so much chicken, you're gonna grow feathers!"? I could be like "Oh yeah?? Well, uh...you drink so much diet coke that...uh...you're gonna...get skinny! ...dork!" But I don't say that cause it's stupid and I'm the bigger man (literally).
So like I mentioned the other day, I had an Interview at Best Buy the other day. Justin drove me over there and while I went over to announce my arrival, he wandered away to look at video games and CDs. After standing and waiting for about 15 minutes and feeling like a dork, an area manager doing the interviews came over and escorted me to a little office with security monitors in it. I filled out a little sheet saying that I was allowing them to interview me, and they started asking me all the normal questions like: describe a time there was conflict between you and another coworker and tell how you delt with that, Name a goal that you had and how you went about reaching that goal, and Which hot new teen pop sensation are you, like, TOTALLY crushing on?
So I answered their questions with flair and big words. I told them about fine times with the Girl Scouts and they seemed totally enthralled that I did that for three years on purpose. I responded by saying that I kinda was too. They asked me about my schooling and about my degree and the type of work that I do. Then they had me go wait in the cell phones for another 15 minutes while they went to find the general manager. He eventually got me and had me follow him to an office in the rear of the store where I sat at a table and he pretty much asked me the same exact questions. I then had to fill out a sheet of paper saying when I was available to work, and then I had to sign something else saying that it was okay for them to do a background check on me...which was probably a bad thing seeing that they will now find out that I was one fucking CrazySexyCool motherfucker in the past, and was once arrested for being way too sassy in a 60mph zone. Fuuuuuuuck!
So anyway, after these things were all filled out, the general manager started telling me that the job they were offering me was a "merchandising" position that, from what I grasped, is loading and unloading shipment from trucks and putting them out on the sales floor...either in the dead of night or at the ass-crack of dawn. He then gave me a pile of paperwork and said that I needed to get a drug test, take my earrings out, and get my hair cut off and once I did that and dropped everything back to them, they would call me to come in for training.
Justin and I then left and went next door to Borders where I decided that I wasn't going to bother working at Best Buy for a number of reasons, and the reasons are as follows:
(a) the job was for 2 days a week...maybe and was considered "seasonal". Yeah...fuck that.
(b) I am way too wonderful to be stuck in the warehouse where the general public cannot gaze upon my glorious visage.
(c) My hair is way too cute to be cutting all off.
(d) I like my earrings and will not take them out because they show the world that I'm a bad-ass rebel. And why is it that girls, apparently, can have as many piercings as they want...but boys can only have one per ear? Maybe if I told them that I had a vagina too then they would allow me to keep them.
(e) Why the hell did they ask me all about my schooling and degree and what not, if they job they were hiring for did not deal with the public at all?
So yes...I am still unemployed, but only because I think I'm too good for Best Buy.
I finished inking two drawings for the SWiSH pin-up calendar and after I scanned them both I noticed problems. The first one, which is of SWiSH's president Sue, I was trying, in Photo-Shop, to clean up lines around her mouth and ended up shrinking it and making it look all tiny and mirthless...which is totally crappy because Sue is not a mirthless woman. Actually all the pictures that I have of her she has a HUGE grin on her face. So I have to redo that one. But the one that made me sad was Aaron. I was told in an email that Aaron wanted to have a very "androgynous" look, big red boots, and angel wings because he wanted a super-hero-type look. And look what I came up with. Does that look androgynous to you? No. Do you see a super hero with angel wings? No. Gah. So I have to d that one over, which is fine because I did like 5 sketches of Aaron before I drew the one that I did...and I actually did one without boobs the size of cantaloupe stuffed into a corset, with angel wings. Why didn't I chose this one? Well, I place all the blame on me watching TV while I was drawing. I was totally distracted by my TV boyfriends.
I've noticed that the longer I'm out of school (and out of work for that matter) the less funny I am becoming. Is this because I spend all day inside watch Buffy reruns, eating cheese, and playing with my hair? Yeah...probably. So at some point I'm gonna dig through "The Mangus Archives" and pull out a few goodies, cause this slump is becoming rather dull.
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